Each year at Christmastime, my family watches the Christmas classic, It’s a Wonderful Life. When George Bailey, (Jimmy Stewart) encounters hardship, from a place of despair he mutters, “I wish I’d never been born.” An undercover angel, Clarence, grants his wish, enabling him to see what life would have been like if he had never existed. He had no idea how profoundly his life had affected everyone around him. In the end, he was given the miracle of seeing how “wonderful” his life really was.
There’s an important truth from the film we can apply in our own lives. Psalm 139 in the Bible affirms that each of us is made wonderfully and marvelously unique by God and that His precious thoughts toward us are too numerable to count. Our personalities, the way we look, our gifts and talents are not random, but intentional. There has never been and never will be another “you” on planet earth. Our significance and IDENTITY are secure.
Then why do we often feel the opposite…insecure in our own IDENTITY?
There are many factors which can contribute to the assault on our IDENTITY. I believe one of the greatest threats is comparison. A cognitive distortion called the Binocular Trick says it pretty succinctly: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections). Another way to say this would be to minimize the specialness of who you are (just the way you are) and the significance of the life you are currently living in comparison to someone else and the life they lead.
In the age of social media most people put the “best foot forward.” We are constantly bombarded with unrealistic air-brushed and touched up photos. And sometimes we see reward going to whoever yells the loudest. TRUTH can get lost somewhere in the shuffle. As a result, when we’re looking at how green the grass looks on the other side of the fence, we can miss the JOY of the profound destiny that’s unfolding in our own lives moment by moment.
I’ll never forget the transformational “aha” moment a teenage client who struggled with self-mutilation experienced. It happened when she realized “there really is no comparison.” She would often measure herself against the attributes of others her age and felt she came up short. But during this particular session the TRUTH that she was unique, distinctive and tailor-made perfectly for HER life made its way deep down inside her heart, bringing empowerment and healing.
If we’re too busy looking to the right or to the left to fulfill our own destiny, who will fill our shoes? Who will touch the people and places our lives are meant to touch? NO ONE can fill YOUR shoes. Embrace your divinely assigned sphere of influence. Live your life to the fullest and commit to being the best “you” you can be! That’s one thing you can do that will be universally unrivaled! And maybe, just like for George Bailey, it will become crystal clear that you really do have a wonderful life.
Written by Donna Brooks, MA LCPC
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Christian Psychological Associates 